Subtle Aspirations

The brightness of the flame enveloped her gaze.

She watched closely as the flame grew, encompassing every inch of the paper. She watched the fresh remains of the ashes in creation, as it lurched to wrap the unburned yet, with an insatiable quench.

As the flame made it’s transition to fire, she felt the ground slipping beneath her feet.  

She had changed her mind. She wanted to look at it once again, one last time, savour it. But the fire didn’t comply with her desires anymore - it had crossed the line of no return.

The tears kept flowing, in vain.

She felt helpless as she watched the last photograph she had of him, burn down and proselytise to frail ashes.

She didn’t have a choice but to bid goodbye.

—-

So I picked up the guitar after 13 years to play a complete song. It most naturally doesn’t sound even half as good as it used to then though.

So as rusty as it sounds - here it is: cover of “So Beautiful” by Pete Murray.

Found myself just the other day
In the backyard of a friends place,
Thinkin’ about you,
Thinkin’ of the crowd you’re in,
What you up too where you been?
(Just thinkin’)

And all the clothes that you wear,
And the colors in your hair
Shouldn’t change you
Now you tell me why it’s so
You bigger than mighty Joe,
(At lest you think so)

God my fingers burn,
Now when I think of touching your hair
You have changed so much that I don’t know,
If I can call you and tell you I care
And I would love to bring you down,
Plant your feet back on the ground

Throw my smoke down on the ground,
Turn my head and I heard the sound,
(That reminded me)
Of the days so young and sweet
Always so much fun to meet
(At lest I thought so)

Now you think your so damn fine

You can rule the world no not mine,
I don’t think so

God my fingers burn,
Now when I think of touching your hair
You have changed so much that I don’t know,
If I can call you and tell you I care

Now the scene that you’re in,
And the people that you been with
Just get to me,
But you think I’m not as cool,
As you are so beautiful
Well who you fooling?

Well I’m here to tell you babe
The game your in is just a game
So damn pretentious

God my fingers burn,
Now when I think of touching your hair
You have changed so much that I don’t know,
If I can call you and tell you I care
And I would love to bring you down,
Plant your feet back on the ground

You think you’re so beautiful
(So beautiful)

I came across this article a few months ago - I vividly remember how it made me feel at that time.

Then, as time has it’s way, I conveniently forgot about it.

Recently I re-discovered my Tumblr (I had completely forgotten I had an account there) - and saw the link to the article which I had posted there then.

It’s an excellent read on the process of “detachment” - titled aptly: “The Art of Giving Up” written by Dyske Suematsu.

Here’s an excerpt from the article which I particularly liked. The link can be found below for those who are interested to read the whole article :)

We develop attachments and we don’t even know it. Only when we are threatened by the lack or the loss of them, do we realise how much we are attached to them. If we lose our sight, for instance, some of us would probably consider suicide, but if we think objectively about many blind people enjoying their lives, it seems silly to even be depressed about being blind.

- by Dyske Suematsu

Click here to read the whole article - “The Art of Giving Up“

So I landed on Suzie’s blog this arvo to see if she’s updated and found out that not only has she updated, but she also had one of those tag posts and had tagged me.

It’s been a while since I’ve played this game. Last I remember was Iris (Urvi) who tagged me years ago titled seven.

So here goes - a tag about 4 things:

4 Jobs I’ve Had (in chronological order)

• Worked at a Pager (Beeper) company (MobiLink) taking messages from people who wanted to page, while I was in college (Bombay, India)
• Web Designer/Developer @ KAZ Technology Services (Syd, Aus)
• Marketing Manager / Creative Designer @ New Horizons Learning Centre (Syd, Aus)
• Retail Operations Exec @ A.C. Nielsen (Syd, Aus)

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over

• Superman I (1978 version with Chris Reeve in it)
• City of Angels
• Pirates of the Silicon Valley
• Bunty Aur Bubbly (Bollywood flick)

4 Places I’ve Lived (in order)

• Santacruz, BOM-IN
• Chatswood, SYD-AU
• Burwood, SYD-AU
• West Ryde SYD-AU

4 TV Shows I Like

• Smallville
• Friends
• My Name is Earl
• Brothers & Sisters

4 Favorite Foods

• Pizza (who doesn’t love pizza?)
• Porterhouse Steak :)
• Twix Chocolates (Mars come a second close)
• “Vada Pavs” (has a link to Wikipedia for those who don’t know what it is)

4 Places I’d Rather Be

• Bombay
• Venice
• A planetarium
• In a 5-star luxury hotel room by myself just relaxing and indulging in simple pleasures :)

4 People I’m Tagging

• Ritesh
• Urvi
• Macademia The Nut
• Sathya

Every once in a while you come across a song that as when you’re listening to it the first time, you kind know that you won’t be listening to it for a long time to come. And then by the time it ends, you find yourself putting it on repeat just to hear the words once again.

And thus, it grows on you.

I came across this really nice song which I’d like to share here. I’ve pasted the lyrics after the video below - pay attention to the words. They’re simple, yet profound and will leave you with a good “feeling” :)

I tried to fight the feeling, the feeling took me down
I struggle and I lost the day you knocked me out
Now everything’s got meaning, the meanings bring me down
I’m watching as a screening of my life plays out

Every day I fight these feelings
For your sake I will hide the real thing
You can run all your life, all mine I will chase

You should never fight your feelings
When your very bones believe them
You should never fight your feelings
You have to follow natures law

I’ll live with never knowing, if knowings gonna change
I’ll stop a feeling growing, I will stay away
Like a broken record, stuck before a song
A million beginnings, none of them the one

Every day I fight these feelings
For your sake I will hide the real thing
You can run all your life, all mine I will chase

You should never fight your feelings
When your very bones believe them
You should never fight your feelings
You have to follow natures law

I wrote her letters and tried to send them
In a bottle I place my hope
An S.O.S full of good intentions sinking
Will you give it to me, don’t make me wait
You built me up, knocked me down
But I will stand my ground
And guard this light that I’ve found

You should never fight your feelings
When your very bones believe them
If you let them show, you’ll keep them
I know your hurt but soon you’ll rise again, again, again

• Have you ever been over to a mate’s place and got stuck opening up a PDF/Word/Excel file just because they don’t have the appropriate Adobe PDF Reader or MS Office?
• Do you carry your laptop just because it contains all your programs, settings and data as you’ve set it up?
• Do you miss your bookmarks on your browser, firefox extensions you’ve gotten used to, Or your offline email reader when you’re on your work computer?

Enter PortableApps :)

PortableApps, it is a collection of portable software designed for use from a flash drive or external hard drive. Usually, when you install software on your computer, it can only be used on that particular computer even if you install it on a portable drive because the system registry is utilised. The difference with PortableApps is that it stores all the files on the portable drive, letting you take your favorite software and its settings with you. Just install it on a portable drive and then plug it into any computer you like and you’re ready to go. (It really has nothing to do with backing up or transporting your personal files.)

Get yourself a decent size USB stick and you can have a plethora of your regular applications, conveniently packaged in! Next time you are sitting in front of a computer that doesn’t have your favourite software, simply plugin your USB stick and fire it up. Best part - it doesn’t leave any trace whatsoever on the host machine - whatever you do, works only from and through your USB!

According to their website:
A portable app is a computer program that you can carry around with you on a portable device and use on any Windows computer. When your USB flash drive, portable hard drive, iPod or other portable device is plugged in, you have access to your software and personal data just as you would on your own PC. And when you unplug, none of your personal data is left behind.

Consider the Possibilities:

• Carry your web browser with all your favorite bookmarks
• Carry your calendar with all your appointments
• Carry your email client with all your contacts and settings
• Carry your instant messenger and your buddy list
• Carry your whole office suite along with your documents and presentations
• Carry your antivirus program and other computer utilities
• Carry all your important passwords and account information securely

Consider the Convenience:

• Have your favorite websites handy to recommend to a friend or colleague
• Have your presentation AND the required software ready to go for that big meeting
• Have your password with you if you want to bank online while traveling
• Have utilities handy when visiting family or friends that are having PC problems

Head over to http://www.portableapps.com to get started.

You can get more portable software from other places (start off with http://www.portablefreeware.com) - And yes, there are ways to get the whole gamut of Adobe CS3 suite of applications, Nero burning suite, heck you could have a whole operating system in your USB stick - just plug it in and boot from your USB!

However, you will have to rely on your Google-search skills to dig deeper on that ;)

On a second note, I recently came across http://www.mojopac.com - which claims to do something similar, yet different. It creates something like a Virtual Private Machine - your own customisable “Windows” that runs as a shell from a host machine (the computer you plug it into). Apparently, When you plug it into either one of your machines, you can use whatever printers you already have installed on them. You can install the productivity software you commonly use like Microsoft Office etc.

However, I’m yet to try this one out.

Almost everyone who knows me, knows how much I love HALO - the Xbox/360 game - YES, 1, 2 and 3 :) And no, I’m NOT welcoming any debates on it!

I’ve had a record of continuously playing Halo 1 (this was a little later after Halo 1 was released) - for 13.5 hours straight - no food, no drinks, NOTHING!

The fact that I’ve never come even close to replicating it is a completely different story.

Anyways… so a friend of mine was over this evening and we were playing Halo 3 (after me religiously convincing him that the “insane” level isn’t as bad as he thinks) - and he goes like “have you seen Halo-God on YouTube yet?” - I had no clue what he was talking about. Most naturally I’m only smitten with just my performance and achievements on the game.

So I logged on to YouTube and put on the video - this one’s a total classic! Give it a few seconds for the music to kick in and you’ll know what I mean. While you’re at it, don’t forget to check out the “Sharks gone mad” video from “Crysis” - that will totally crack you up whether you’re a gaming fan or not!

Here’s the Shark’s Gone mad one from Crysis: