All posts tagged fiction

Distraught Meanderings

meanderings

A drop fell on his eyelid. He looked up and acknowledged the dark, gathering clouds, knowing that he still has a long way until he reaches home.

It was a while since he had walked out of his house aimlessly – with no destination. To let fate lead him wherever, in hope that there would be some sign, whatsoever, which will link all the pieces of his life and give him meaning. He chuckled to himself as he remembered the line from the TV show, “The X-Files” – “The truth is out there”. “What truth?” he wondered.

With that thought he shut the door of his apartment and walked out.

As he walked down the empty pavement ahead, he battled feverously with numerous thoughts in his head, feeling as if he was walking in the opposite direction of a crowd. Every now and then his logic would peek amidst the emotional chaos and remind him to be Zen like and “empty his cup”. A few minutes, and he was back on the cycle.

3 random bus trips and a few hours down the line, he found himself at a place he didn’t know even existed until then. There was a wharf close so he decided to take a stroll by.

His mind kept juggling with the concept of the glass being half empty or half full. And the Zen notion was long forgotten.

The sound of church bells in the distance kept him amused for a while. Part of him wanted to explore and visit the place. Part of him wanted to stay put. An hour passed when he realised how he stayed put without evening making a decision.

“What now?
What’s the point staying here further?
Tomorrow will be another day and life has to go on the way we have known it to isn’t it?
One’s got to work, earn, pay bills, eat, live!
Even if one dissevers every other string attached, one still has to deal with basic essentials.
Are these basic essentials culturally ingrained over a period of time?
Is that why one cannot fathom otherwise?
How do people stop being themselves, turn the page, and live to lead a fresh new life?
Can they truly ignore their conscience?
Isn’t it a struggle to bolt the door to your mind from letting the past back in your head?
Or is it so that one just gets habituated to it and it becomes second nature after a while?
But if so, what determines the capacity of a human to be able to cope with that period until they are habituated to it?
Is there a point for all these questions?
Tomorrow will be another day and life has to go on the way we have known it to isn’t it?”

Just then, a drop fell on his eyelid. He looked up and acknowledged the dark, gathering clouds, knowing that he still has a long way until he reaches home.

An Arbitrary Incision

“An arbitrary incision was all that was required.

Put an unconcealed impediment to the flow of time, lacerate an unexpected scar, and let them both stand in silence, experience the loss of the pain together.

Most certainly the tables would have turned then.

Rather that than this… this distressing, excruciating agony of a wrongful deliverance, which seemed only natural at a given point in time!

Look what they’ve done. A flawless, scurried close to a teething moment of the roses’ budding.

Misinterpreted, misread, misjudged and miscommunicated!”

With that, he shuts his book, puts it on his side table and gets his glasses off. Weary of the stress in his eyes, he shuts the lights and pulls on the quilt for a comfortable stance on the bed. A few minutes later he wakes up startled. Hastily turns on the light, and picks up the book. Frantically he flips to the page he thinks he last closed it on, and realised how right he was. He never read that passage in the book.

It was his mind trying to console him with just one another possibility of the why and the how of the unknown, yet unacceptable conclusion.