All posts tagged hurt

Doomsday Valentine?

An ardent hiatus isn’t it? Hehe. Yes I know it’s been too long since I’ve posted. Too many things happening currently in this prolonged stretch of a time-lapse.

In the essence of true internet “surfing” – you know, where you Google (oops did I offend you? guess not hehehe) for something and follow links – next thing in about 20 minutes you realise you’re reading something that has no relevance to what you were seeking in the first place?

So, as I was saying, in the true essence of internet surfing, I happened to chance upon this particular article. Yes I know – the first thing you’d notice is the domain name there – canada.com and the emoticon in your head would pretty much instantiate a WTF :)

However – so I landed upon this article and couldn’t help but continue to read further. Now to be honest, as I’m posting this, I haven’t really read the complete article yet – but I can definitely tell a good read when I spot one ;)

So here we go – an article on “Forgetting about a love” – How to stop obsessing about your “ex” (as much as you’d hate to admit the EXistence of the word EX in reference to him/her).

A quote from the article states –

“They [your ex] want to feel that they are still important. It is a lot about feeling wanted and loved. It’s that idea in our society that you’re nobody if somebody doesn’t love you, so if this one person doesn’t need to be with you anymore, it attacks your self-worth.”

But, for instance, what if you’re harbouring a feeling of deception in love? Do they give an answer to that?

I guess not! Some answers are so personal that no book, no article, no quote, no song, no movie, no emotion can do justice to them… they apparently seem to only come with time… or so I’ve been told.

As they say, time heals all. Or is it to just only “learn” how to mend a broken heart – just so you’re well “equipped” for the future?

Ooops – almost forgot – here’s the link: http://www.canada.com/topics/lifestyle/valentinesday/story.html?id=b08a9a9d-5e63-4d6a-a2f6-830851b381ab

i should have listened when you said good night

this ain't a love song!

it was just another routine day for him. he was on the train, reading his book around the same familiar faces he sees everyday on the same ride.

the train pulls at his station. he gets off, and climbs up the stairs of the subway. swipes his ticket at the ticket barricades, and crosses the street.

the watch on his wrist reminds him of a meeting that he has to attend in an hour, and he frowns to himself, hardly having any sleep the night before. battling thoughts, he gets into the lift and reaches work.

the routine day begins and he catches up with the left-overs from yesterday. attends the meeting, comes out feeling as numb as ever knowing that nothing that was discussed in the meeting will materialise anyways.

decides to have an early lunch and he strolls down. as he walks out of the building, he changes his mind to have a short walk, to clear his head. the streets are buzzing with people, everyone with a different agenda in their minds at that moment – he wonders in amazement, fixing his gaze on random faces and drawing pictures in his head on their agendas.

an old woman, waiting for the bus, probably trying to get to her son’s house to meet her grandchildren whom she hasn’t seen for a few months now.

a child buying lollies at a convenience store, with the reward pennies he won from his grandfather for a chore done?

a young women, dressed in a business attire, trying to hide the pensive look on her face, probably rehearsing her upcoming job interview which will determine the direction of her determined ambition.

a young couple, meeting up for lunch, quite elated. both must’ve been working in different offices, around the corner – holding hands, probably on the verge of finalising their wedding venue?

he unconsciously reaches out for his phone and speed-dial’s #2, only to hear the same message he’s been hearing for a long time now, “the number you have dialed has been disconnected”.

the wind blows with a shrill chill, hitting his face like a thousand needles, snapping him back to stark reality in the present timeframe.

he smiles at his own ignorance, putting away his mobile in his suit pocket, lights up a smoke and heads back.

just another day to burn, just another week, like it’ll be another month and so, another year.

—–

Here’s the song that’s been on my mind for a few days. You can listen to my rendition of the song below – had recorded this back in 1995, playing the guitar and singing it in front of the computer mic… can’t believe it’s been 13 years since!

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i should have seen it coming when roses died
should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
i should have listened when you said good night
you really meant good bye
baby, ain’t it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
you’re really on your knees, when you think you’re standing tall
but only fools are “know-it-alls” and i played that fool for you

i cried and i cried
there were nights that died for you baby
i tried and i tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby

if the love that i got for you is gone
if the river i cried ain’t that long
then i’m wrong, yeah i’m wrong, this ain’t a love song

baby, i thought you and me would stand the test of time
like we got away with the perfect crime but
we were just a legend in my mind
i guess that i was blind
remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
the clowns wore smiles that wouldn’t fade
you and i were the renegades, some things never change

it made me so mad ’cause i wanted it bad for us baby
now it’s so sad that whatever we had, ain’t worth saving
if the love that i got for you is gone
if the river i’ve cried ain’t that long
then i’m wrong, yes i’m wrong, this ain’t a love song

if the pain that i’m feeling so strong
is the reason that i’m holding on
then i’m wrong, yeah i’m wrong – this ain’t a love song